Sometimes, the world needs people to do what is right, not what is easy. My life has never been easy, so it seemed natural to me to simply do what was needed. This is the story of RPL, as I was asked to tell it by Blaze Carriot :)
A few years ago, I got an infection that turned into an abscess. At the time I was working on a construction site, and we couldn't afford to lose anyone. So I kept quiet about being sick, determined to see the job through. The abscess went septic. By the time I realized I had no choice, I was rushed into emergency surgery, but a few days later my white blood count was still extremely high. Like, 80,000 when normal is 14,000 kind of high. They took me to a CT scan and found a second, larger abscess in my stomach, which had tendrils migrating to my heart. They operated again. I honestly almost didn't make it through. Between the surgeries, and the wound care, the despair at being alone in a nursing home with people that were too busy to properly get pain medicine to me on time.... it all sucked. I knew I'd be scarred, that I'd never be the same, and would likely be on disability for the rest of my life. I wasn't able to imagine how bleak my new future would be. But the worst thing was that many of my friends abandoned me. Before this, I had owned a bar, gave out free drinks, and was the life of the party. Now I was sick, fighting for my life, lost the bar, and wasn't "fun" anymore. There was a time when I gave up. My body stopped healing and I simply waited to die.
My mom brought in my laptop, in an attempt to give me things to do and something to focus on. A random post on an author's site led to one of the Dark Hunter character's sending me a friend request. I was enthralled. I hadn't realized that this was even something people did. Kalypso was my first character. She was and always will be my baby. I think we all have one of those though. The first group was maybe not the best fit for me. There were some issues in management and I wasn't content to let them go unnoticed. I got kicked out along with anyone who was friends with me, and they began to spread the rumors that we had stolen storylines and stolen members. It was a hard time, as I'm honest to a fault, and loyal until there is nothing left.
So, I randomly suggested, you know what? We could do this. We could make our own group and our own way of handling things. We know now what we don't want to be, so why not see what we CAN be? Between 4 friends, the Darkside was born. We existed in relative peace for a bit, and then... the nukings started. I watched friends that I had come to love lose everything. I watched as one by one, they stopped rebuilding. They had lost hope, lost the will to keep trying. They were being systematically targeted over and over again, and every time they managed to feel some modicum of safety, the attacks started again. It was a broken system, being propped up by management who simply didn't care that there were human beings behind those accounts, and that the reporting was a form of harassment and bullying. I couldn't handle watching it. I couldn't handle the thought of losing those I cared for, of watching their work continue to be destroyed. I wasn't willing to stand by and lose everything I had built up with my friends for a 2nd time in my life. I started investigating alternative sites, but they were mostly forum ones, or weren't really conducive to roleplaying the way we were used to. When I started researching creating my own site, I was ridiculed. Told that I had no chance of doing this. That I was ignorant for thinking that without years of coding experience, that I could do something this huge. That no one would take me seriously, and I'd get nowhere.
Well, frankly, that sort of pissed me off. They said the same thing about Facebook, and now it's the standard all other sites are unfairly judged against. I had a group of steadfast friends who told me that if anyone could do it, I could. That they were behind me 100%. That I wouldn't be doing this alone, and that even if no one came and it was just us, then it still wouldn't be a failure.... it would be our home. I clung to that. That the people I loved would be at my side.
May 9th, 2014 RoleplayLives was officially launched, earlier than planned due to more rounds of nukings.
It wasn't easy. I had no idea what I was doing. Neither did the other admins I'd chosen. We celebrated each new account, cheered with every group that found safety. We worried constantly, as the servers crashed and we had to continue upgrading. When script bugs couldn't be fixed, and the doubts surged in. When new people joined and weren't super nice. People couldn't imagine that someone would do this and have no ulterior motives. In the beginning we constantly had to fight to prove that we weren't going to steal things, due to the old rumors. That we weren't playing favorites, that we'd do all we could to make everyone who joined be at peace. Obviously, some of those we're still fighting against today.
I've been sheltered in my life. Maybe that's a good thing. But it means that this past year has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. And I'm including the surgery and near-death that lead to all of this. People can be cruel and hateful. I'd honestly never experienced any of that before from people I was actively trying to help. I've been bullied... but never have I been bullied simply for reaching out a hand to help another. It's a sad testament, to what roleplay has become. But amid that cesspool, more rose up. People that gave the site and the staff a chance. People that believed in the idea, people that simply wanted to embrace the fresh start we offered. Every cut was quickly patched up. Friends gave up on me. Some of the ones I'd expected to always be there had faded away, but the hurt was mitigated as new friends took their places once they got to know the person I am. The blood, sweat and tears we had put into the site was beginning to pay off, and we could finally look around and see new lives beginning to grow amidst the muck and grime.
It's been a long road, but the tide has turned, and my dream, our goal is slowly coming into view. Instead of being at the top of the insurmountable mountainside, I can now see the ladder. It might be rickety, but it's there. Every day I am awed and humbled by seeing this vibrant community come alive again. Every month we worry and stress yet somehow you guys manage to pull through and together we make the bills on time to keep the site running. Each day Zeth and I marvel that... through everything, we've held the line, kept RPL the safe haven that we wanted it to be, and kept each other sane. You all are what inspires us to keep fighting. To keep braving the storm, knowing that each hurdle is easily scaled. RoleplayLives started as simply a home for me and my friends. It is now home to all of us, and a testament to what a little determination and refusal to hear the word "impossible" can do.
Here's to year 2, may the muses whisper of fairytales and dreams, of monsters and madness, and everything in between.
Kalypso/Mandi
Contributed By: Kalypso Skotos Ds
Requested By: Blaze Carriot
My mom brought in my laptop, in an attempt to give me things to do and something to focus on. A random post on an author's site led to one of the Dark Hunter character's sending me a friend request. I was enthralled. I hadn't realized that this was even something people did. Kalypso was my first character. She was and always will be my baby. I think we all have one of those though. The first group was maybe not the best fit for me. There were some issues in management and I wasn't content to let them go unnoticed. I got kicked out along with anyone who was friends with me, and they began to spread the rumors that we had stolen storylines and stolen members. It was a hard time, as I'm honest to a fault, and loyal until there is nothing left.
So, I randomly suggested, you know what? We could do this. We could make our own group and our own way of handling things. We know now what we don't want to be, so why not see what we CAN be? Between 4 friends, the Darkside was born. We existed in relative peace for a bit, and then... the nukings started. I watched friends that I had come to love lose everything. I watched as one by one, they stopped rebuilding. They had lost hope, lost the will to keep trying. They were being systematically targeted over and over again, and every time they managed to feel some modicum of safety, the attacks started again. It was a broken system, being propped up by management who simply didn't care that there were human beings behind those accounts, and that the reporting was a form of harassment and bullying. I couldn't handle watching it. I couldn't handle the thought of losing those I cared for, of watching their work continue to be destroyed. I wasn't willing to stand by and lose everything I had built up with my friends for a 2nd time in my life. I started investigating alternative sites, but they were mostly forum ones, or weren't really conducive to roleplaying the way we were used to. When I started researching creating my own site, I was ridiculed. Told that I had no chance of doing this. That I was ignorant for thinking that without years of coding experience, that I could do something this huge. That no one would take me seriously, and I'd get nowhere.
Well, frankly, that sort of pissed me off. They said the same thing about Facebook, and now it's the standard all other sites are unfairly judged against. I had a group of steadfast friends who told me that if anyone could do it, I could. That they were behind me 100%. That I wouldn't be doing this alone, and that even if no one came and it was just us, then it still wouldn't be a failure.... it would be our home. I clung to that. That the people I loved would be at my side.
May 9th, 2014 RoleplayLives was officially launched, earlier than planned due to more rounds of nukings.
It wasn't easy. I had no idea what I was doing. Neither did the other admins I'd chosen. We celebrated each new account, cheered with every group that found safety. We worried constantly, as the servers crashed and we had to continue upgrading. When script bugs couldn't be fixed, and the doubts surged in. When new people joined and weren't super nice. People couldn't imagine that someone would do this and have no ulterior motives. In the beginning we constantly had to fight to prove that we weren't going to steal things, due to the old rumors. That we weren't playing favorites, that we'd do all we could to make everyone who joined be at peace. Obviously, some of those we're still fighting against today.
I've been sheltered in my life. Maybe that's a good thing. But it means that this past year has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. And I'm including the surgery and near-death that lead to all of this. People can be cruel and hateful. I'd honestly never experienced any of that before from people I was actively trying to help. I've been bullied... but never have I been bullied simply for reaching out a hand to help another. It's a sad testament, to what roleplay has become. But amid that cesspool, more rose up. People that gave the site and the staff a chance. People that believed in the idea, people that simply wanted to embrace the fresh start we offered. Every cut was quickly patched up. Friends gave up on me. Some of the ones I'd expected to always be there had faded away, but the hurt was mitigated as new friends took their places once they got to know the person I am. The blood, sweat and tears we had put into the site was beginning to pay off, and we could finally look around and see new lives beginning to grow amidst the muck and grime.
It's been a long road, but the tide has turned, and my dream, our goal is slowly coming into view. Instead of being at the top of the insurmountable mountainside, I can now see the ladder. It might be rickety, but it's there. Every day I am awed and humbled by seeing this vibrant community come alive again. Every month we worry and stress yet somehow you guys manage to pull through and together we make the bills on time to keep the site running. Each day Zeth and I marvel that... through everything, we've held the line, kept RPL the safe haven that we wanted it to be, and kept each other sane. You all are what inspires us to keep fighting. To keep braving the storm, knowing that each hurdle is easily scaled. RoleplayLives started as simply a home for me and my friends. It is now home to all of us, and a testament to what a little determination and refusal to hear the word "impossible" can do.
Here's to year 2, may the muses whisper of fairytales and dreams, of monsters and madness, and everything in between.
Kalypso/Mandi
Contributed By: Kalypso Skotos Ds
Requested By: Blaze Carriot